S-Project

This is my submission for the S-Project. As always, comments and critique are welcome.

Lily had never been comfortable in dresses. She was more of a blue-jeans girl. Maybe shorts occasionally when the weather called for it. Capris weren’t unheard of either. She’d even been seen in culottes during the unfortunate fashion disaster of 1983. But mostly, she wore blue jeans.

She twirled around letting the skirt swirl around her legs. It was an unfamiliar feeling. “What do you think, Lester?”

Lester blinked once and let out a throaty purr. Lily laughed and gathered the chubby cat into her arms. “Sexy, eh?” she asked, scratching the Siamese under his chin. He submitted to her attentions for a few moments before squiggling out of her arms and back onto the bed.

She sighed and inspected herself again in her mother’s antique cheval mirror. The dress wasn’t too bad. Could have been worse, she thought. She could be wearing stockings and sandals too. Her mother had, in fact, laid them out for her on the bed next to the blue dress, but somehow between then and now, they’d managed to get snagged on something and were, unfortunately, beyond repair. Her mother had tried. She’d raced into the bedroom with a bottle of clear nail polish, but even her highly efficient and motivated mother couldn’t undo the damage to the silk stockings.

“I have no idea how these things always happen to you, Lily,” said her mother impatiently. “I swear those stockings were in perfect condition when I laid them out. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you snagged them on purpose.” She glared at Lily.

“Mom, please. Why would I destroy a perfectly good pair of silk stockings?” replied Lily. “I have respect for silk stockings,” she insisted. The half-smile that Lily couldn’t quite hide didn’t add much verisimilitude to her story.

Her mother sighed. Her mother’s sighs were a thing to behold. She made quite a production out them, shrugging her shoulders and rolling her eyes. They could mean any number of things, but mostly heralded annoyed exasperation most often directed at Lily. Usually they were followed with what her mother liked to call “motherly admonitions.” Her father called it for what it was-nagging. “Lily, don’t humor me. I don’t need to be humored quite yet. I have a few more years before I’m too old to notice that my children are humoring me.”

“I wasn’t humoring you, Mom,” Lily protested. “Much.” Out came the half-grin. Lily always had an inconvenient sense of humor, which her mother didn’t quite share. Her mother sighed again and left the room.

Lily slumped into her mother’s chair and Lester leapt gracefully from the bed to Lily’s lap. “You’re getting hair all over my dress. I’m going to be in even more trouble,” she whispered. In response, Lester curled up and nested his claws lightly in her lap.

“Why am I doing this, Lester? Why did I agree to let my mother set me up on a date? Why did I agree to wear a dress on the date? What’s wrong with me? Any other daughter with half an ounce of self-respect would have flat-out refused. I must be getting soft in my old age.” Lester’s purr deepened. “Are you even listening to me, you big selfish cat?” Lily asked him, scratching behind his ear.

Truthfully, Lilly knew exactly why she’d allowed herself to be talked into a blind date with the son of her mother’s bridge partner. She’d had a serious dating dry spell and her mother hit her up at the exact psychological moment of weakness. Todd was a great guy, her mother said. He was a history teacher at a local high school and as upstanding and decent a guy as there ever was. Plus he was kind to children and small animals. At the time, Lily thought it couldn’t hurt to try. At worst, he’d be a complete bore and she’d ditch him early. At best—well, there was a possibility he was as great as her mother insisted he was. That was a week ago. Just now she was convinced he was only slightly preferable to Cletus the slack-jawed yokel.

“We need a plan,” she said. “An escape plan. What’s my plan? What should I do if he turns out to be extra creepy?” Lester closed his eyes. Clearly, he was only interested in a warm lap and scratches on his head.

“Maybe I’m just being pessimistic,” she said. “Maybe he’ll be a great guy. Maybe he’ll love women who prefer blue jeans. And I’ll give him the wrong impression because I’m wearing a dress. And he’ll be polite and all because he’s a really great guy, but he’ll think I’m too high maintenance because I wear dresses and act all girly. Lester, what if he doesn’t like me?” The doorbell rang and Lily started, disturbing the cat. He glared up at her.

“Lily!” her mother called. “Todd is here!”

“Great,” muttered Lily under her breath. “I’m sorry, Lester, but I’m afraid I have to go.” She picked the protesting cat up and placed him gently on the bed.

She slipped on a pair of keds and grabbed her purse. “Okay, Lester, I’m out of here.” She reached over and scratched him on his chin. “And, hey,” she whispered, “thanks for taking care of the stockings. You’re a good cat.”

Neutral Good Elf Bard Ranger

Alignment: Neutral Good characters believe in the power of good above all else. They will work to make the world a better place, and will do whatever is necessary to bring that about, whether it goes for or against whatever is considered 'normal'.

Race: Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.

Primary Class: Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.

Secondary Class: Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.

Deity: Oghma is the Neutral Good god of knowledge and invention. He is also known as the Binder of What is Known, and is the Patron of Bards. His followers believe that knowledge reigns supreme, and is the basis for everything else that is done. They wear white shirts and pants, with a black and gold braided vest, and a small, box-like hat. All priests of Oghma are known as Loremasters. Oghma's symbol is a scroll.

What D&D character are you??

Books and Films and Memes, Oh, My!

1. What book or books were special to you in your childhood?

I loved pretty much anything by L.M. Montgomery--the Emily books, the Anne books, as well as her stand-alones. I read and re-read them constantly. I also read Rebecca by Daphne du Mauier when I was twelve and loved it, thus beginning a love affair with gothic novels (Barbara Michaels, Phyllis Whitney, etc.) that continues to this day. I read the Trixie Belden books, as well as Nancy Drew and the Hardy boys. And, I confess that in my teen years, I absolutely devoured the Sweet Valley High series.

2. What was particularly special or memorable about those books?

The Emily books appealed to me because there was such a strong sense of destiny and purpose for all three of the main characters. It wasn't just that Emily wanted to write that I identified with; it was that she must write; she had to. Even if 9/10ths of what she wrote was pure garbage, it was worth it for the 1/10 that wasn't. I just liked that. Anne appealed to me simply because she represented a way of life I craved. She was safety and security and sweetness personified. I liked the danger and mystery of Rebecca, and I credit that particular novel with my eventual introduction to Jane Austen. My sister, hearing how much I loved Rebecca, recommended Northanger Abbey, which ultimately led me to Pride & Prejudice, one of my all-time favorites. Trixie Belden, et al, appealed to me just because I loved, and still do, a good mystery. Finally, I admit that Sweet Valley High is pure trash, but I enjoyed it when I was in Jr. High. They were so over-the-top melodramatic, and face it, I've always been drawn to the drama. I wanted to be Elizabeth, because she was so pretty and smart and had the cute boyfriend and the cushy job in the school newspaper. I read SVH from about age 12 until I was 15 or so.

3. Have you re-read any of them as an adult?

I constantly re-read L.M. Montgomery. I have occasionally re-read Rebecca, but it's been a while. My sister bought me a couple of Trixie Belden novels one day when she was feeling nostalgic. As for SVH, I skimmed through one at Half Price Books about a year ago and laughed myself silly.

4. If so, were the books as good as you remembered them?

L.M. Montgomery's were just as good, if not better for having had some life experiences. Trixie was entertaining enough. SVH was appallingly bad.

5. What do you think about movies being made out of children's classics (like the Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of The Rings, etc.)?

I like seeing them made into movies if they're done well. The 1993 Secret Garden adaptation was marvelous, as was the BBC Pride & Prejudice with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. I also liked the adaptations of Narnia and LOTR. You can't please every single fan in adapting classics to film, but I thought they captured the spirit of the books beautifully. It's when they tromp all over the spirit of the books that I have a problem with things.

Okay, I’m having a cranky day and I must vent. First, let me say that I am aware there is nothing inherently wrong with my life. I have family I love, good friends, a decent job (jobs, actually—I have a second part time job working in the box office of a local live theatre), a roof over my head, and enough to eat. Having said all that, I’m still cranky today.

I’m sure part of it is that I just woke up on the proverbial wrong side of bed. That happens to everyone—one just wakes up in a genuinely vile mood without any good reason. That happened to me this morning. I woke up, glared at my alarm clock (by the way, I don’t know whether looks can kill, but they don’t destroy technology—I tried), and made a huge show of dragging my sorry self out of bed. A wasted show, I might add, since there was no audience for my theatrics.

I had to go to Wal-Mart first thing this morning to purchase candy for a co-worker who will be running a booth at this year’s Family Preservation Conference in south Texas. Now, I realize Wal-Mart has lower prices and as a poor person, I should fully appreciate that, but I still don’t like going to Wal-Mart. It’s always crowded; the staff clearly has other places they’d rather be, and hey, who can blame them; it’s cluttered, and I always have to hit about six different aisles before I can finally find exactly what I’m looking for. Plus I hate that whole checking your receipt thing as you leave the store. It annoys me.

When I got to work, I found out the travel reimbursement voucher I’d completed for a faculty member wouldn’t clear due to insufficient funds. Now there’s a whole long story here about encumbering funds and how it impacts end-of-year financials, but I’ll spare you. Suffice to say that it took some finagling to get her reimbursement to clear.

Then I got an email from the theatre I work at giving me a new dress code. No flip-flops. Now this is perfectly reasonable and on a normal day, I’d be all “okay, no problem.” But today it makes me grumpy. I have really nice, pretty leather flip-flops that are almost as nice as sandals. “Why can’t I wear them?” I whine to myself. That’s because I’m a mean jerk, who is cranky for NO GOOD REASON.

Then my friend, V, who is organizing the whole Juarez project, changed the date of the trip. I grumped a little because the new weekend conflicts with my schedule, then offered to support them financially anyway just because I still want to be a part of it. V just emailed me back with a different date to see if that would work. See how nice and reasonable and good she is? Yet still I crank.

So now I’m cranky because I feel guilty for being cranky.

Dogs, Dogs, Dogs...

I love dogs. And since my dad recently e-mailed me some pictures of our dogs, I thought I'd post 'em on this blog, so everyone can roll their eyes and agree, "yes, Liz, your dogs are cute--shut up talking about them now."

The first is Baxter begging for food. The second is Cydney is laying on the back porch. And in the one with them together, Cydney had just crawled into Baxter's bed. She has a perfectly good bed of her own, but she likes Baxter's better. Go figure. He looks annoyed.

Okay, I'm shutting up about the dogs now.

Scheherazade Project-Starlight

This is my second contribution to the Scheherazade Project. Any comments/critique is definitely welcome. This is (very) loosely based on a recent trip my mother, sister and I took to Longview, TX.

I could tell it had been pretty once, even peaceful. Surrounded on three sides by stately East Texas pines, the house faced what could generously be called a lake, but more closely resembled a swamp. Great weeping willows crept along the brush entangling itself with masses of fragrant honeysuckle. The house had long ago been taken over by flora. Rodents and bats and other squatters had made themselves at home in every nook and cranny.

“There’s snakes too, I expect,” said Uncle Chris, “so be careful. You probably should have worn sneakers instead of those sandals.”

I smiled and shrugged. He was right. I probably should have worn sneakers but I didn’t expect a field trip to the dilapidated old house that had once been our family homestead.

“Can we go in?” asked my sister, Claire.

“Let’s you and I go check it out,” replied Uncle Chris. He grinned at me and said apologetically, “You’d better not. I know there’s poison ivy. Why don’t you stay out here with your mother?”

I was fine with that. I didn’t get to see Mom all that often anyway. My sister, Claire, and I had taken our mother to Longview to visit her brother, our Uncle Chris. The visit had turned into a prolonged genealogy lesson with Mom and Uncle Chris taking turns regaling us with stories of their childhood. Uncle Chris had taken it a step further by squiring us all over East Texas to show us where our family had lived, worked, and loved. This house, named Starlight, had been the home of Rebecca Hope, our great-great grandmother.

“I like the way they used to name houses,” I said to Mom.

She smiled wistfully and then laughed. “You can still name your house nowadays. Your stepfather and I named our house Hardwood.”

I laughed. I thought that was a mighty grand name for a weathered and bordering on run-down 3-bedroom house in an almost bad part of town. “Mike is eccentric,” I said. “He names everything.”

“Well, yes. We’re an eccentric family,” mom said proudly. “That includes you, my dear.”

I grinned. “Well, yes. I guess it does. I suppose I prefer eccentric to weird, strange, off, or ‘a little odd’.”

We walked in companionable silence for a while on the trail that was barely visible beneath all the brambles.

“Did you come here a lot when you were a kid?” I asked mom.

“No,” she replied. “This house belonged to another family by then. I don’t really know the story. I expect your Uncle Chris knows more about it.” Mom shifted directions so that we were walking to the dock overlooking the swamp.

“Scenic view,” I said, only half-joking. Mom didn’t catch the implied sarcasm.

“It is,” she said. “I’ve always loved East Texas. It’s home to me. This is home. It’s been a while since I’ve seen anything this lovely.”

I snuck a sideways glance at Mom as she gazed over the swamp. Mom was a chubby, gray-haired grandmotherly sort with appalling fashion sense and a blatant disregard for convention. But just then, I could see the young girl depicted in a few surviving childhood photographs—small, but sturdy, two long, dark plaits tumbling past her shoulders, clutching loose pages she’d cobbled together tightly in her arms as she daydreamed of becoming a famous author and finding love, fame, and fortune.

Many of her dreams had come true, but none of them in the expected ways. Fortune had eluded her, but she was well-known in her field. And it had taken her two tries, but she’d found love with someone remarkably compatible—that is to say, Mike was just as disrespectful of social mores as Mom. It occurred to me then that Mom had never really stopped daydreaming.

“Hey, you two—there you are!” exclaimed Uncle Chris. Claire followed him, her eyes shining.

“So,” I began, “what was it like? Is it pretty?”

Claire’s eyes sparkled. “It was. It is. I’ll tell you about it,” she said, taking my hand and giving it a squeeze.

Mom and I exchanged a smile and followed the others to Uncle Chris's SUV.

“You’re right, mom,” I whispered. “It is lovely.”

Songs of '89

A.) Go to musicoutfitters.com
B.) Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year
C.) Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favorite. Do nothing to the ones you don’t remember (or don’t care about).

**Sorry, can't pick a favorite
***Sorry, have no idea how to use the line-through function on this blog

1. Look Away, Chicago
2. My Prerogative, Bobby Brown
3. Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Poison
4. Straight Up, Paula Abdul
5. Miss You Much, Janet Jackson
6. Cold Hearted, Paula Abdul
7. Wind Beneath My Wings, Bette Midler
8. Girl You Know Its True, Milli Vanilli
9. Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird, Will To Power
10. Giving You The Best That I Got, Anita Baker
11. Right Here Waiting, Richard Marx
12. Waiting For A Star To Fall, Boy Meets Girl
13. Lost In Your Eyes, Debbie Gibson
14. Don't Wanna Lose You, Gloria Estefan
15. Heavan, Warrant
16. Girl I'm Gonna Miss You, Milli Vanilli
17. The Look, Roxette
18. She Drives Me Crazy, Fine Young Cannibals
19. On Our Own, Bobby Brown
20. Two Hearts, Phil Collins
21. Blame It On The Rain, Milli Vanilli
22. Listen To Your Heart, Roxette
23. I'll Be There For You, Bon Jovi
24. If You Don't Know Me By Now, Simply Red
25. Like A Prayer, Madonna
26. I'll Be Loving You (Forever), New Kids On The Block
27. How Can I Fall?, Breathe
28. Baby Don't Forget My Number, Milli Vanilli
29. Toy Solider, Martika
30. Forever Your Girl, Paula Abdul
31. The Living Years, Mike and the Mechanics
32. Eternal Flame, The Bangles
33. Wild Thing, Tone Loc
34. When I See You Smile, Bad English
35. If I Could Turn Back Time, Cher
36. Buffalo Stance, Neneh Cherry
37. When I'm With You, Sheriff
38. Don't Rush Me, Taylor Dayne
39. Born To Be My Baby, Bon Jovi
40. Good Thing, Fine Young Cannibals
41. The Lover In Me, Sheena Easton
42. Bust A Move, Young M.C.
43. Once Bitten, Twice Shy, Great White
44. Batdance, Prince
45. Rock On, Michael Damian
46. Real Lov, Jody Watley
47. Love Shack, B-52's
48. Every Little Step, Bobby Brown
49. Hangin' Tough, New Kids On The Block
50. My Heart Can't Tell You No, Rod Stewart
51. So Alive, Love and Rockets
52. You Got It (The Right Stuff), New Kids On The Block
53. Armageddon It, Def Leppard
54. Satisfied, Richard Marx
55. Express Yourself, Madonna
56. I Like It, Dino
57. Soldier Of Love, Donny Osmond
58. Sowing The Seeds Of Love, Tears For Fears
59. Cherish, Madonna
60. When The Children Cry, White Lion
61. 18 And Life, Skid Row
62. I Don't Want Your Love, Duran Duran
63. Second Chances, .38 Special
64. The Way You Love Me, Karyn White
65. Funky Cold Medina, Tone Loc
66. In Your Room, Bangles
67. Miss You Like Crazy, Natalie Cole
68. Love Song, Cure
69. Secret Rendesvous, Karyn White
70. Angel Eyes, Jeff Healey Band
71. Patience, Guns N' Roses
72. Walk On Water, Eddie Money
73. Cover Girl, New Kids On The Block
74. Welcom To The Jungle, Guns N' Roses
75. Shower Me With Your Love, Surface
76. Stand, R.E.M.
77. Close My Eyes Forever, Lita Ford
78. All This Time, Tiffany
79. After All, Cher and Peter Cetera
80. Roni, Bobby Brown
81. Love In An Elevator, Aerosmith
82. Lay Your Hands On Me, Bon Jovi
83. This Promise, When In Rome
84. What I Am, Edie Brickell and The New Bohemians
85. I Remember Holding You, Boys Club
86. Paradise City, Guns N' Roses
87. Iwanna Have Some Fun, Samantha Fox
88. She Wants To Dance With Me, Rick Astley
89. Dreamin', Vanessa Williams
90. It's No Crime, Babyface
91. Poison, Alice Cooper
92. This Time I Know It's For Real, Donna Summer
93. Smooth Criminal, Michael Jackson
94. Heavan Help Me, Deon Estus
95. Rock Wit'cha, Bobby Brown
96. Thinking Of You, Sa-fire
97. What You Don't Know, Expose
98. Surrender To Me, Ann Wilson and Robin Zander
99. The End Of The Innocence, Don Henley
100. Keep On Movin', Soul II Soul

Women of Juarez

So, a couple of days ago my friend V, who has her own theatre company emailed me and told me she was planning a show on the women of Juarez. A bunch of actors, writers, artists, photographers, etc. are heading to Juarez in a few weeks to interview families of the victims. Aferwards the participants will write/create the show. All proceeds will be split between Casa Amiga in Juarez and a local women's shelter here in North Texas.

I am really excited about this production. I'm going to head out with everyone to Juarez in September and plan on participating 100% until the show goes up in late July 2007. Aside from how much I enjoy working with V and crew, I think this is a great cause. Juarez was the beneficiary the year I did "The Vagina Monologues" (in case you were wondering, my vagina is a shell...). That's when I first heard about the Juarez murders and I have to say, I was appalled.

One of things I admire about V, and have learned from her, is do something about it. Nice to be a part of that.

Another Meme Stolen From My Sister (but she stole it from someone else first....)

FOOD-OLOGY

What is your salad dressing of choice? Hidden Valley Ranch. Love the stuff. However, since I've been watching the caloric intake, I've grown fond of plain old oil and vinegar.

What is your favourite fast food restaurant? Tie between Subway and Sonic.

What is your favourite sit down restaurant? Well, it's another tie--For Mexican, I love El Rancho Grande in the Stockyards in Fort Worth--For Italian, I love Moni's, which is in a strip mall in Arlington. Very tasty pasta!

On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? 20% generally. If I tip less than 20, the service was pretty bad.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? I don't know that I could eat *any* food every day for two weeks without getting sick of it. I guess ice cream. Love me the ice cream.

Name three foods you detest above all others. Squash, okra and eggplant.

What is your favourite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant? I know it's bad for me, but I will always love lemon chicken.

What are your pizza toppings of choice? Pepperoni, black olives, onions, bell peppers, tomatoes, and mushrooms.

What do you like to put on your toast? Butter, sometimes jam or jelly.

What is your favourite type of gum? Orbit Mint Bubblegum.

Number of contacts in your mobile phone? 41

Number of contacts in your email address book? 56

What is your wallpaper on your computer? Relaxing beach scene-unknown island location.

Are there naked pictures saved on your computer? No.

How many land line phones do you have in your house? None

How many televisions are in your house? Two.

What kitchen appliance do you use the least? Um, kitchen appliances involve cooking, correct? Take your pick. Don't really use them.

What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most? Alternative

BI-OLOGY

What do you consider to be your best physical attribute? My eyes

Are you right handed or left handed? Left-handed

Do you like your smile? It's okay. I have good teeth but I think my mouth is too big.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Nope.

Would you like to? Nope, but let's be honest. I still look fairly young for the most part. Who knows what I'll think when I'm older and things begin looking a bit worse.

Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom? I've been known to bring a book or magazine in and I cannot believe I just admitted that.

Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Smell

When was the last time you had a cavity? Couple of years ago and I lost the filling recently so I need to get that fixed.

What is the heaviest item you lift regularly? I guess big stacks of hanging files--at my job.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious? No, but I once fainted. That was weird.

MISC-OLOGY

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No way.

If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? I kind of like my first name. But my parents gave me a LOT of names to choose from. My full name is Elizabeth Anne Lorraine, so lots of variations and nicknames.

How do you express your artistic side? Through acting and writing.

What color do you think you look best in? Blue and green

How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison? I have no idea and hope I never find out.

Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Yes, when I was a kid my mom had a bottle of nail polish remover sitting out which had the consistency of milk--I didn't realize it wasn't milk and took a big swig. Got my stomach pumped and was actually proud of myself because my sister, who I adore to this day, was always getting her stomach pumped for the weird stuff she ate for who knows why?? I was happy to follow her example.

If we weren’t bound by society’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at? Gross--I'm clearly too bound by society's conventions.

How often do you go to church? I'm a total heathen.

Have you ever saved someone’s life? Well, once I was in traffic behind this guy who appeared to be more interested in bopping to the music than in going when the light turned green. After a minute I realized something was wrong, so I got out of the car and ran over and it turned out he was having a grand mal seizure. He was being choked by his seatbelt so I unbuckled it and he fell over. I didn't have a cell phone at the time, so I waved down someone who did and they got help. It sort of freaked me out a little, but the paramedic said I did the right thing. And that guy was SO lucky that the seizure happened at a red light instead of while he was driving.

Has someone ever saved yours? No.

DARE-OLOGY

Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? Are there people with cameras? If there are no cameras, maybe. If cameras are involved, forget it.

Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? For an amazing role in a really good play, I'd kiss a woman for free. Otherwise, it's kind of a stupid dare.

Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000? No. I also wouldn't have sex with a man for money.

Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? Nope.

Would you never blog again for $50,000? Oh, yeah. Check out my past history updating my blog. I could do that easy.

Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? Nope.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? I am way too wimpy for that!

Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? NO way.

Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000? As long as the pain medication is included, sure.

Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? Yes.