Black Ethel Rackham

That's my pirate name. Here's what they say about me:

Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

See, I AM cool. I AM.

You should go get your own pirate name.